Resolving the ‘Columbus Day’ fight

For years, the country has grappled with a difficult question: should we set aside a holiday to honor the man who accidentally discovered North America and its native inhabitants before willfully killing huge numbers of them? Some people say no.

This isn’t the actual issue, of course. Columbus Day has become a proxy for recognizing the contribution of Italian immigrants to the U.S., as seen in the documentary film “The Sopranos.” It’s less about Columbus than it is about recognizing a part of American culture — one that itself took a while to establish a foothold.

Still, though, Columbus’s was the precipitating event for a lot of native deaths. In 2021, President Joe Biden signed an executive order that accommodated that history, stating that Columbus Day (a congressionally authorized federal holiday) would also serve as Indigenous Peoples’ Day. And since Biden did that, this month Trump gleefully undid it, acting as though Columbus Day had been eradicated (which it hadn’t) and he was the salvation of Italian heritage.

Given that history of tension, I am proud to offer a solution. The holiday will now be celebrated as a function of state populations, with states having a larger portion of residents of Native American ancestry celebrating Indigenous Peoples’ Day and states with more residents of Italian ancestry celebrating Spain’s most notorious contractor.

The Census Bureau collects data on ancestry. In the U.S., there are a bit under three times as many people who report Italian heritage as report Native American. The Native Americans are at a slight disadvantage, having been slaughtered so enthusiastically that it affected the climate, but that’s where we are.

As noted, though, this varies by state. Some, particularly in the Northeast, have far more people of Italian ancestry. A few have more of Native American ancestry.

That map doesn’t include people whose ancestors were Pacific Island natives or identified as being of Hawaiian ancestry. If we add them:

The county-level data are limited, but within that limited set, the county with the biggest ratio of Native American to Italian ancestry is Coconino County, Ariz. The one with the biggest Italian to Native American is Morris County, N.J. — where several scenes from the documentary “The Sopranos” were shot.

Once the nation adopts my proposal for the holiday, here’s what will be celebrated where, at least until people move around.

There is one problem with this plan, I’ll admit. There is a (relatively loose) correlation between the prevalence of residents of Native American ancestry and support for Trump in the 2024 election. Meaning that states that would celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day would be more likely to also support Trump’s presidency.

This, too, has at least some roots in the unhappy history of Native Americans. Oklahoma has a lot more people of Native American than Italian history not entirely because the Native Americans were hoping it would work out that way.

But, look. A solution is a solution. I look forward to a bipartisan Capitol Hill coalition embracing and implementing this idea, one that will leave everyone satisfied.

Photo: Barbara Bush in a Columbus Day parade, 1989. (National Archives)